The I-64/95 300
By the driving styles of particular vehicular patrons in the state of Virginia, you would think that you are in a NASCAR sanctioned event. From Hampton Roads to Dulles, the highway action is non-stop tom foolery. People cutting you off, weaving in and out of traffic, tailgating, flicking you off. It's crazy.
Hampton Roads traffic is like being in a formula one race because the Virginia Department of Transportation (VDOT) doesn't have their ish straight. They have been working on a stretch of highway, that runs from the Hampton Roads tunnel to Williamsburg, for 30 years!!! 30 years!!! Some people weren't even born yet. Heck, I wasn't even born yet. The grant total of that project is this...THEY STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED!!! Ohh, but don't worry. VDOT will come up with a new traffic pattern that will bring you closer to the "light" at the end of your life. There is this one exit where you have to de-accelerate from 55 (or 80) mph to 30mph within 20 yards just to make the exit. The exit is extremely narrow. This exit leads to I-664.
When you get past the rally circuit in Hampton Roads, you've graduated to straight up NASCAR action when you hit Williamsburg. Get past Busch Gardens and you can hit speeds anywhere from 60 to 100. NOTE OF CAUTION: DO NOT SPEED IN THE NEW KENT AREA. Everyone I know has been pulled over at least once on the New Kent section of I-64. That area has cop's that bet on horse races and eat donuts there. So they have nothing but time on their hands. They will catch you eventually.
Then you hit Richmond. From Richmond to Springfield (the I-95 portion) you are liable to blow a valve gasket in your car. People drive no less than 75mph there. It's that way even if they are going from one exit another in a 1 mile span. On this strech of highway, I got flicked off by a lady who had to had been all of 62. FLICKED OFF BY GRANDMA!!! Damn, what world do we live in where you can get flicked off, because you ain't driving fast enough, by grandma. It just ain't right. If your lucky you may get chest flashed by one of Osama Bin Laden's daughters, but I'll save that rant for another post. It is a NOVA thang, I don't wanna understand.
My general feeling is this...SLOW YO AZZ down. Where are you going? Do you know that you have to average 95mph to 105mph just to make a mile difference on a 10 mile trip? Trust me. You will get where your going. If your wife is in heat and says get home soon, and if she ain't playing about it, everything will be alright. She'll still be waiting for you. After all she contacted you! If your house is on fire and you've been contacted, chances are there is nothing you can do about it now. Calm down. There is no need to kill other people in the process or have your birth certificate cancelled because you flicked somebody off.
Time is important to us all, but remember this when it comes time: YOU CAN'T GET IT BACK!!!
Outro: Outkast - "I Like the Way U Move"
Hampton Roads traffic is like being in a formula one race because the Virginia Department of Transportation (VDOT) doesn't have their ish straight. They have been working on a stretch of highway, that runs from the Hampton Roads tunnel to Williamsburg, for 30 years!!! 30 years!!! Some people weren't even born yet. Heck, I wasn't even born yet. The grant total of that project is this...THEY STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED!!! Ohh, but don't worry. VDOT will come up with a new traffic pattern that will bring you closer to the "light" at the end of your life. There is this one exit where you have to de-accelerate from 55 (or 80) mph to 30mph within 20 yards just to make the exit. The exit is extremely narrow. This exit leads to I-664.
When you get past the rally circuit in Hampton Roads, you've graduated to straight up NASCAR action when you hit Williamsburg. Get past Busch Gardens and you can hit speeds anywhere from 60 to 100. NOTE OF CAUTION: DO NOT SPEED IN THE NEW KENT AREA. Everyone I know has been pulled over at least once on the New Kent section of I-64. That area has cop's that bet on horse races and eat donuts there. So they have nothing but time on their hands. They will catch you eventually.
Then you hit Richmond. From Richmond to Springfield (the I-95 portion) you are liable to blow a valve gasket in your car. People drive no less than 75mph there. It's that way even if they are going from one exit another in a 1 mile span. On this strech of highway, I got flicked off by a lady who had to had been all of 62. FLICKED OFF BY GRANDMA!!! Damn, what world do we live in where you can get flicked off, because you ain't driving fast enough, by grandma. It just ain't right. If your lucky you may get chest flashed by one of Osama Bin Laden's daughters, but I'll save that rant for another post. It is a NOVA thang, I don't wanna understand.
My general feeling is this...SLOW YO AZZ down. Where are you going? Do you know that you have to average 95mph to 105mph just to make a mile difference on a 10 mile trip? Trust me. You will get where your going. If your wife is in heat and says get home soon, and if she ain't playing about it, everything will be alright. She'll still be waiting for you. After all she contacted you! If your house is on fire and you've been contacted, chances are there is nothing you can do about it now. Calm down. There is no need to kill other people in the process or have your birth certificate cancelled because you flicked somebody off.
Time is important to us all, but remember this when it comes time: YOU CAN'T GET IT BACK!!!
Outro: Outkast - "I Like the Way U Move"
